One of the boys…

29 08 2010

I had a surprisingly nice day, today.  My in-laws had a picnic and invited all their closest friends all of whom are my in-laws’ age, so it was a little odd.  But my husband and I haven’t seen most of them since we got married almost 5 years ago.  At first, it was a complete bust as far as I’m concerned.  A bunch of 60-somethings talking about retirement and all their ailments.  

Then my husband and this one fella were talking and I was listening to them and one of the women was like “Join us!  You’ve been married 5 years, you don’t still have to pretend you’re interested in what your husband has to say.”   So I laughed and talked to them a little, but ya’ll I’ve always been more comfortable with men.  My senior year of college my friends were all guys.  I didn’t have one single female friend.  I hung out with my boys and that was that.  6 of them.  And I only hooked up with two of them.  Yay me!!!  I was, um, less than proper in college… 

But I digress.   Eventually someone turned on the little league baseball game and I was watching that with a couple of the men and then at 4 the  Phillies game came on and I watched that and these 60 year old men and I just talked and talked about sports.  This made me so happy.  In my family my grandfather and father think I know NOTHING about sports.  Like seriously…  NOTHING.  And it’s infuriating because I know more than them… more than most men, actually.  So it was wonderful to actually have dialogue about sports where I was actually taken seriously. 

When they were leaving (they’re brothers) with their spouses the one actually told them he had to use the restroom and came back in just to say how wonderful it was to meet me and that he had a great afternoon talking with me.  Isn’t that so nice of him?  Don’t think it’s creepy that he lied about why he came back inside.  His brother is a nice guy but he’s a very “When I say I’m leaving, I’m leaving right THEN” guy so if the guy’s reason to come inside was just to “say bye to Amy” yeah…  that wouldn’t have worked out and he probably would have been left behind.   (Amy=me just in case you didn’t know because I haven’t mentioned it here before).

I don’t know why I interact better with men.  I just always have.  It’s not that I’m not interested in decorating or paint colors or talking about menopause and hot flashes…  I can interior decorate it up with the best of them and having gone through menopause at 23 because of some injections I had to go on for 6 months, I can wax poetic about night sweats and mood swings, too.  I guess I just prefer not to.  And don’t get me wrong.  I love being a woman.  I think I just find it more satisfying being a woman in a man’s world.  Surprising people with knowing what typically women are not perceived as knowing. 

I prefer sports to chick-flicks (though when there aren’t sports on I’m an absolute SUCKER for a good chick- flick), I prefer jeans and sneakers to dressing up pretty, I prefer beer to fruity mixed drinks…  I guess I’m a tomboy.  When we have kids, if we do, I want boys, not girls.  I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl.  How to teach her to be feminine.  I mean, I know not to burp and fart in public, when we do go out I do make sure I look nice, but I’ve never been girlie.  I wouldn’t know what to do with a daughter who wanted to go to dance class or be a cheerleader or be a nominee for homecoming queen.

There are some guy things I don’t like.  Movies with lots of blood, things having to do with cars and sex with women to name a few.  But today?  Today was a good day.  I was one of the boys and damn it, I had fun.

Able to call balls and strikes before the umpire does…  Hamlet’s Mistress

P.S. So reading back over this, I’ve realized something…  I’m completely and totally intimidated by women.   THAT’S the issue.  I feel judged by most women…  inferior.  With men  I can just be me without worry that I’m being compared to what they think I should be and that allows me to bond with them in a way I can’t with women because with women I feel constantly scrutinized.  With men, I can just be me…  and me???  Is someone confident and secure in who she is and what she has to say.   Other women intimidate me.  I never realized…


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6 responses

30 08 2010
Elizabeth Barrett

Or it could just be that men are simply more delicious than women. Or that with men, if you’re thinking too hard about them, you know you’re overthinking something because they are generally as simple as they seem. I live with a house of them, and slept with plenty as a co-ed, so these things I know.

I don’t think you’re intimidated by women. Maybe just bored. I know bored. Watch what happens when you’re bored, though. I’m posting one possible version at http://www.godeeperliz.blogspot.com. The main character dreams of “going deeper” and winds up venturing into the cougar’s den and friending an old boyfriend on FB which turns her life inside out. Take a peek!

Elizabeth
http://www.godeeperliz.blogspot.com

31 08 2010
hamletsmistress

I definitely don’t think I’m bored with women. Every blog I read but two are women and I think they’re facinating and bright and witty and loving and charming. So I don’t think that’s it. I think I just feel intimidates by all that. I think in my mind a woman is far more likely to judge me than a man. Especially if I speak man-language. 🙂

31 08 2010
Txtingmrdarcy

Men are easier to communicate with than women. For the most part, you have a conversation and only worry about’s what’s happening on the surface.

With women, you’re analyzing tone of voice, subtext, etc… to the point where it’s just exhausting! I had the same senior year experience in college, and the lack of drama was totally refreshing. Would do it again in a heartbeat. 🙂

31 08 2010
hamletsmistress

I know. It was great. I’d go to the apartment that two of them shared. Yes, THE two, and they’d be watching hockey and beg me to let them finish the game before we went out. Well hello?? I like hockey, so I grabbed a beer, told them not to worry about it and watched the game. They loved it. It was so easy and comfortable. *sigh*

31 08 2010
Adventures In Babywearing

So many of us have blazing insecurities when around other women, and we feel at ease around men because maybe we feel they “naturally” already like us. And often I find that I’ll see my own faults or things I don’t like about myself in another woman and I become so judgy.

Steph

1 09 2010
hamletsmistress

Maybe that’s it. That makes sense. I don’t get judgey of other women though. I’m too busy thinking they’re all judging me. Probably inaccurate, because we’re women, we have so much else to worry about, and probably no one is actually judging me. I just feel like it. It’s definitely one of my issues.

HM

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