Ok, so as most of you know my greatest dream is for Russell I. Crowe to follow me on Twitter I wrote about this the other day. Well, readers, not only is Russell I. Crowe still NOT following me on Twitter, but now Russell I. Crowe has been horribly rude to me as well. Now before I go into this, I want to let you all know that my Facebook settings are as such that even if Russell I. Crowe does not follow me (cuz Russell I. Crowe is a snot) Russell I. Crowe should still be able to see when I @ him.
This brings me to my actual story of how Russell I. Crowe was SO rude to me. Russell I. Crowe and his new BFF, Alan Doyle, are going on tour together. Here is Alan Doyle and Russell I. Crowe at an open mic night, apparently.
Russell I. Crowe and Alan Doyle. Clearly Russell I. Crowe needs my advice and guidance. Just look at what he's wearing. He's a gazillionaire for crying out loud. Fashion is just another way I could help Russell I. Crowe.
Anyway, Russell I. Crowe tweeted about the impending tour and said the tour was kicking off on May 10th. So I replied to Russell I. Crowe and told him he’s going to have a great tour because it was starting on my birthday and clearly that was a good omen. And? No reply from Russell I. Crowe. That one didn’t bother me too much because while my birthday is awesome to me, it probably doesn’t mean much to Russell I. Crowe.
Later I saw another tweet from Russell I. Crowe asking if anyone out there was in the Philly area and knew of a venue smaller than the Electric Factory. Russell I. Crowe is looking for places that seat under 1000. Clearly, Russell I. Crowe isn’t too confident in the drawing power of a Russell/Doyle musical extravaganza. I think that’s a pretty good call on Russell I. Crowe’s part. So, anyway… I tweeted a reply (because HEY! I’m in the Philly area!!) That he should look into the Tower Theater in Upper Darby, PA which is not far from Philly. After I tweeted Russell I. Crowe that bit of advice I actually took a moment to look up the Tower Theater and check their seating. Capacity is 500 MORE than the Electric Factory. Whoops!!! So I didn’t think too much when Russell I. Crowe didn’t reply to THAT tweet because clearly he thought I was an idiot. (I think Russell I. Crowe should take a look in the mirror on the wall of his glass house before he goes throwing THAT particular stone).
However, after THAT, out of the GOODNESS of my heart, I continued to try to think of venues for Russell I. Crowe and Alan Doyle to have their little 14 song concert. All of the sudden it hit me. The Borgata! In Atlantic City, NJ! (Also not far from Philly). I had the good sense to look up the capacity before tweeting (see how much I already DO for Russell I. Crowe??). So then I tweeted Russell I. Crowe about the Borgata and even gave him the capacity. Ya’ll… Russell I. Crowe ignored me COMPLETELY. Why would Russell I. Crowe do that?? Why, Russell I. Crowe, why??? At the very least I think my information was worthy of a “Thanks” from the Mr. Too Good To Thank Someone ass himself, Russell I. Crowe.
So let’s review. Russell I. Crowe doesn’t: Follow me on twitter, thinks I’m an idiot and doesn’t thank people for their time and effort. Nice, Russell I. Crowe. Very nice. I may be an idiot.. But YOU, Russell I. Crowe are RUDE and I would take being an idiot over being a rude jerk any day of the week. That’s a lesson you need to be taught, Russell I. Crowe. Just one more reason why you need my guidance.
Hamlet’s Mistress
* This is the 2nd post in the John C. Mayer movement started by Aunt Becky.
Hamlet's Mistress 
Mistress, I just found your blog by way of a comment you posted on another blog. What little I have read here thus far is interesting and I hope to be back and read more of your posts from time to time.
That being said, who in the hell is Russell I. Crowe and why do you seemingly find him interesting enough to devote this post to bashing him because of his apparent rudeness to you?
“An enquiring mind wants to know.” 🙂
Russell I. Crowe is Russell Crowe… the actor. For explanation as to why I’m posting about him and why I’m obnoxiously writing his name every time I can go here and read the point of it all.
That being said… I still think he’s rude. 🙂
And thanks for coming by. I hope to see you here again soon.
HM
Thank you Mistress, for your kind explanation.
You might call me an ignorant old fart, or more graciously, and uninformed elder citizen, but I’d never heard of Russell I. Crowe before coming here. I take it that he’s and Aussie band guy and possibly somewhat of a hunk of a stud who is also rude.
I have two internet blogger friends in Australia who are about half of my age so I may ask these ladies what they know about this jerk, if anything. There are some younger bloggers in that land down under who may know more about Crowe that I can consult if necessary.
BTW, do you have a name other than Mistress? Calling you Mistress makes me feel a bit inferior like I should be on my knees when addressing you.
Much more than a band guy, Russell Crowe is one of Hollywood’s most sought after actors. Though I cannot imagine why. He’s done one excellent movie that I love and one apparently excellent movie that I did not love. Other than that it’s just a bunch of drivel in my opinion, and his personality when not in front of a camera is not good at all. He’s an ass, basically. Your younger friends will definitely know who Russell Crowe is.
Amy is my name.
HM
Just WHO do you YOU think YOU are? You apparently have no self-esteem to write such an ugly post about Russell Crowe now answering you. Why should he?
Um, it’s a joke? Did you read the whole post or just read the first paragraph and get all pissy about it? If you read to the bottom you’ll see a link back to the origination of the whole thing. You should try it. It’s fun. Might make you less uptight. Maybe
HM
Sorry, I mean’t “not” answering you. I hope you don’t have a nervous breakdown over this.
How dare Russell I. Crowe not respond to your tweets? The nerve of Russell I. Crowe.
Oh, Russell I. Crowe – that man is so much less of a man than David Hyde Pierce.
http://bestoffates.com/david-hyde-pierce-star-of-fraiser-curtains-and-my-heart/
This whole thing is in poor taste. I see where you say it’s a joke….most actual jokes are funny to someone besides the joke-teller. Why in the world SHOULD Russell I. Crowe, or anyone else for that matter, reply to you? Talk about entitlement. Especially when he likely didn’t even see your tweet. He gets hundreds every day (although it used to be thousands, it’s settled down some) and he has said (on twitter) that sometimes he can’t even find the beginning. No way can he possibly read them all. So your demands seem to me to smack more of “princess-dom” than “humor”. Princess-icity? Princess-ism? One of those.
Hey! You earned a guest spot on my post entitled “Pulling a John C. Mayer Could Get You Cut”!! I’ll have to edit the post of course, to add you to it, but it’s no big deal to do so. I’ll add you to the list of people unable to sense satire.
Hey but thanks for coming to my blog. I adore new readers!!
WOW. You got Trolls!!!
I’m jealous. 😉
I know, right? I think it means I’ve made it. Now if the rest of the interwebs would figure it out, it’d be awesome!
HM
Ok, so I read your whole thing. You are absolutely genius using f*** through most of the writings. Delicious joke? I think you’re probably messing with your brain with things you shouldn’t. Still not funny about Russell I Crowe.
I actually rarely, if ever, use f*** in my writing. Aunt Becky does (the site I directed you to in order to see what I was participating in), which I personally find hilarious, but I don’t use it hardly ever at all… and I’ve never used the term “delicious joke” so I’m not sure where you’re getting that from (again, I suspect you’re getting it from Aunt Becky’s site – Mommy Wants Vodka – and before you get all literal on me again… no, she’s not really MY aunt, Becky… it’s just what she goes by). And the Russell I. Crowe thing was SO last week. I’m sorry that you’re still piffy about it though. But thanks for coming back! Russell I. Crowe, aside, I hope you come back again and enjoy the blog. I think you’ll see a shocking non-use of f***.
Thanks, HM.