Where have all the men gone???

13 01 2011

I’m noticing something more and more with the men.  I look at the man my sister-in-law is going to marry, I look at the husband of my former best friend, I look at the husband of an acquaintance of mine and I look around at couples I see out and about and how they interact with each other and I just want to scream, “WHERE HAVE ALL THE MEN GONE?!?!?”

I see so many men out there that aren’t husbands.  Aren’t equal partners with their wives.  They’re all a bunch of Yes Men and it just makes me want to shake them and yell “Would you grow a pair???  WHERE is your SPINE?”  My husband and I talk about this every now and then and I tell him that I am SO happy that he’s not some wimp that just goes along with whatever I say so as not to rock the boat or upset me or cause conflict.  I am so happy that he will disagree with me and sometimes just straight up tell me I’m dead wrong.   And yeah, sometimes we get into it…  but it’s part of what makes a healthy couple.  He doesn’t hurt me or beat me or degrade me… but when necessary, he stands up to me.  And that’s a good thing.  An important thing.   And though sometimes it makes me so crazy and I just want to take back everything I just said…  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 


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4 responses

13 01 2011
Adriane

Oh man, where to start. I totally thought the same thing. Two years ago. I was so tired of always wearing the pants and making all the decisions. But then I chose the wrong man. To the opposite extreme. I had no voice. I had no say. He had to have all the control. PLUS abuse. Ew.

I think now, that, I have found a happy medium in my super cool man friend. He is So easy to get along with. But I do know, that he will put his foot down if there is something he disagrees with. It just has not happened yet. But I find myself not ruling the roost either. It is like we just meld and we can each take care of the other. I have never been in a relationship like this before and I am staying! ha!

Wow, sorry to spew…LOL!

13 01 2011
Amy

That’s so awesome that you found that!!! I’m so glad I have it, too. It’s a great thing… it really is. I’m sorry you had to go through that bad relationship to get to where you are now, though. But I’m glad you’ve found the middle. 🙂

13 01 2011
The Resident Bitch

I was literally JUST having this conversation with a friend of mine! It’s like society told us all how important our feelings are and manly men went out the window!

I am so glad I’m not the only one who notices this. If Jeff rolled over and did my bidding everytime I so much as breathed too loud I would go absolutely insane. He stands up to me when I’m wrong, and while he provides and truly is my best friend … he doesn’t roll over like a dog. Which is perfect for me.

I just wonder why, mostly. I mean … is it society? Like, have women become so steadfast in being equals they’ve turned men into sissies? Or is it something else?

13 01 2011
Amy

I really think it’s this touchy feely society we live in now. My post was originally much longer and it got into the subject of bullying and how kids are taught to be the victim now instead of standing on their own two feet and having a backbone and more importantly a VOICE. My father in law taught 5th grade for 33 years and I asked him a couple months ago if the kids are getting meaner or are the other kids getting weaker. He said kids are not meaner than they were 33 years ago. The parents are crazier… and I just feel like it all ties in with this paradigm shift of men being more passive now than I’ve ever seen them before. Ever. My dad taught me how to be strong and stand up for myself. My mom taught me that I was beautiful beyond measure and completely awesome. That’s what I was armed with through the years that I was brutally teased… or wait, BULLIED, I mean. Parents don’t seem to be doing that these days. And I think it’s leading to the breakdown of society. Men… BE MEN. I don’t know. And I don’t have an answer other than there are a whole mess of men out there who need to grow a pair. The moms nurture and the dads aren’t teaching strength, because THEY don’t have any. It’s a real problem. I feel it is THE #1 problem behind all this mess with bullying… not the only one, mind you, of course there is just plain ignorance, intolerance (usually on the part of the bully’s PARENTS) and whatnot, but I think all other problems are secondary to this core issue.

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